Standing in a lagging line at a store checkout when we’re rushing to get home—especially at the holidays—can feel like an absolute eternity, when by the clock it’s maybe just an extra ten (albeit frustrating) minutes. Spend ten minutes finally taking a break from the holiday rush—perhaps sitting cozy on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and looking out the window at the twinkling lights in the trees—and it can feel like absolutely nothing—like we haven’t had a second to rest! Time is so strange. And for something that is as constant as they come—it is also something that is entirely subjective, bending to our moods and perceptions. Did we all have these very experiences just this past week? Well, there is good news. There are ways to slow down time—when we want to and speed it up when we don’t—it’s all about the cognitive framing we put on that time. I recently had the pleasure of chatting with science writer Makai Allbert at The Epoch Times for a fascinating article about how we can “bend time.” Please check it out here.
The fact is that when it comes to negative and stressed-out thoughts, we know that what we do with those—well, it happens automatically focusing, amplifying, catastrophizing. In looping into those thoughts, it makes them more important and impacts how long they stay with us. But what about our more pleasant and positive experiences? They seem to be so fleeting. We can amplify those too, we just need to intentionally loop in, park ourselves there, and deepen our interaction with them. That is the way those experiences move up from the back of our mind to a coveted (and helpful!) spot—front and center in our mind. What’s the emotional vehicle that moves them from one place to the next? It’s called savoring.
What is Savoring?
Savoring means to stretch, expand, and multiply the impact of a positive experience by re-visiting it. The psychological benefits of savoring–are borrowing ahead and amplifying enjoyment and meaning. Research suggests that savoring is associated with having a more positive outlook, and because of that, feel more of a sense of self-efficacy, feel more grateful, and have better health and well-being. The self-focused burden of anxious and negative thoughts is lessened as we pivot to experiences that are outside of us.
Psychologists Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff identified three practices to give us the psychological boost of expanding positive emotions and a sense of connection with ourselves and others:
Anticipatory Savoring: think ahead about an upcoming event–begin imagining the people you will see, what the place may be like, excitement, and positive feelings.
In the moment Savoring: Step back from what is happening in front of you–the family dinner, the line at the grocery store, the feel of the crisp cold air outside and just notice it for a second. Be the observer, not the participant, and let your body feel what is going on around you.
Reminiscent Savoring: Go back to a positive event from the past and let your mind trace over the moment and experience you enjoyed.
How to Practice Savoring in Little Moments Every Day
Mini time expanders: Consider what a difference it makes when we say “mmmmmm” to a bite of a delicious meal or a sip of perfectly prepared, piping-hot coffee. We might miss the enjoyment were it not for the “mmmm.” So it is with life! Savoring is a practice of reflecting back on a past moment or a current one, letting yourself be absorbed in the comfy seat of that experience, and saying “mmmmm” to your life.
In a holiday blogpost I wrote a number of years ago, I mentioned that one way to anchor yourself at the holidays is to look for one moment (or more if you can) where meaning lands on your heart—maybe it’s watching falling snow, a lively holiday table conversation, your cat being silly parkouring across your furniture. To enhance the moment and savor every bite—we can imagine taking one or two more bites—and create a space of absorption where we are feeling our positive experiences more deeply. Let your attention linger—enhance the picture—notice details, go deeper in your delight of the moment—tell the story in your mind—this is that moment when…
Really, savoring is like putting a highlighter pen to our experiences. Focusing on what we are experiencing deepens the moment and the memory and it is easy to find again. A simple way to engage this practice is to go through your photo reel on your phone and either choose a random picture or scroll till you find a picture that jumps out at you. Ask yourself what you were feeling in that moment, what was going on in your life that day, what do you like about the picture. Stay with the picture until you do a tiny nervous system reset—a long exhale, an intentional sigh, a closing your eyes and dropping your shoulders. Let that picture, that experience feed you two more bites.
Whether during the holidays, or any day, slow down and let your sense of time and meaning expand by trying a few savoring practices. Adding the emotional “mmmmm” of life switches us out of alarm mode and into social engagement mode. We can be more available, empathic, and responsive to each other—so our choice to savor in our lives opens us up to improving the greater good. Wow. In our collective project of helping the world grow, that seems like a very good use of our time! And please do check out this article on time bending—I promise you will have that super now experience of feeling time slow down while you are reading it. Here’s to slowing down more in the new year. Happy, healthy, new year, all!
©2025 Tamar E. Chansky, Ph.D.
