Blog — Stress

It's National Do a Favor for a Grouch Day: Or, How to Have Compassion for Curmudgeons

Yes, there is a holiday for everything. February 16th is National Do a Favor for a Grouch Day. What? The last thing we think to do when we've been hit in the gut by inadvertently walking through some one else's emotional target practice, is, "wow, what can I do for that person?" But, we may just find that the favor we do for a prickly person, is really a favor we are doing for ourselves.  Here is a piece I wrote for the Philadelphia Inquirer about compassion meditation.

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Freeing Yourself from Anxiety-- the video!

Freeing Yourself from Anxiety: The Video is here! 

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Making Expectations Work for You

You can’t always get what you want—The Rolling Stones

Why is it that this most basic of human truths, which we are exposed to from day one of our lives, is the hardest to grasp? Like trying to put a square peg in a round hole, it just doesn't seem to fit. If we can work some flexibility into our expectations, we may just find that the second most basic human truth, namely, that we usually get what we need, is always there for us at the ready. Let's see how.

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How to Survive College Admission Stress

It's that time of year, the daffodils are blooming, the lilacs and cherry trees are preparing to bud, and families with high school seniors are trying hard to not lose their minds. Does the college admission process have to be like this? Here are some ideas for keeping your cool (and helping your child do the same) until all decisions are in.

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Surviving College Rejection Letters: It Can Be Done

Following up on my recent blog post on handling college admission stress, in this post, I get right down to the tough, but necessary business of handling rejection. No one likes it, but given the sharp increase in the number of college applications, and the fact that most, especially the elite, highly competitive schools, have not increased their class size, it's a statistical fact of life: rejection letters will happen. But it's what happens after the rejection that matters most. Here are tips for parents and students to stay on track and not get derailed by misinterpreting the meaning when a college says no.

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In Forgiving Others, You Set Yourself Free

Forgiveness. What a load it lifts-- from our own shoulders. Here is a piece about forgiveness on www.lifetimemoms.com for which I was interviewed.

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Great Interview with WNPR's Faith Middleton

 

I had a great conversation with Connecticut Public Radio host, Faith Middleton, on April 27th, click here to listen to the program. 

 

 

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Overcoming Performance Anxiety: Don't Think of It As A Performance

Who is afraid of public speaking? We all are, at least some of the time. Here's a piece I wrote on Huffington Post about overcoming performance anxiety. Hint: It's about connecting not perfecting.

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After-the-Fact Mindfulness: Finding the Pause Button, Better Late Than Never

Ever had a bad morning that stays with you? I did, and I learned a lot from it-- about myself. Check out this piece I wrote on Huffington Post about patience, kindness, love and driveway etiquette. 

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Overcoming Procrastination: 7 Strategies to Get the Job Done, Today

procrastinationIf only we could list procrastination as a skill on our resumé. We've all been practicing diligently for years, and now qualify as experts, thanks to the internet and all it's must-see nooks and crannies. But don't despair, there's hope for procrastinators.

Photo credit: Mait Jüriado / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

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Overcoming Vacation Anxiety: How to Get Your Inner Workaholic to Take a Break

vacation
Vacations are great in theory, I just don't have time to take one! We all want to get away, but it's a challenge to get away from our work when our work is holding on tight (and maybe we just need to see this one project through, but we'll take a break when it's done, promise!). Here are the do's and don'ts of making vacations work so you don't have to.

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Workaholics Anonymous

WorkaholicWe praise people like Bill Gates that are "workaholics", but many studies show the negative effects of what is a real condition, being addicted to work.

Watch this Huffington Post Live discussion on how to get out of the corner of workaholicism, and read a related blog post: How to Get Your Inner Workaholic to Take a Break. There's a better life waiting for you.

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Freeing Your Holidays (and Yourself) From Anxiety: 6 Steps to Having More Joy and Less Stress

visualpanic / Foter / CC BY

The clock is ticking toward Thanksgiving and the holidays beyond, and two very different feelings are flashing on your emotional news feed: impending joy and impending doom.

OK, maybe doom is overstating it; dread may be closer to the mark. But let's face it, many of us are finding ourselves up at 3:00 in the morning checking our to-do lists and reviewing incessantly the parade of possible catastrophes: "Will my brined turkey be a disaster?" "Will everyone be happy with their gifts?" "How much weight (and debt) am I going to gain?" "What if my family doesn't get along?" "What if I'm not ready?" "What if I totally fail?!" Wait, are we preparing for the holidays -- or final exams?

It doesn't have to be this way.

It's time to change our relationship with the holidays.

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7 Ways to Cope with Family Stress During the Holidays

Cia de Foto / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

Ah, how magical to celebrate the holidays with family. Oh, wait... really? With... family? @&%#!, with family?! This year, do yourself a favor -- if you want to thrive (and not lose your mind) during the holidays, give yourself a gift: Expect what's most likely to happen. If you're wrong and things go great, all the better! But if you're right and history repeats itself, no harm, no foul, no nervous breakdown. Here are some ideas for freeing yourself from anxiety during family gatherings.

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6 Steps to Setting Sustainable New Year's Resolutions

Kurume-Shimin / Foter / CC BY-SA

Chances are – the average New Year’s resolution list looks the same as last year’s: lose weight, stop smoking, save money and find your soul mate. While 45 percent of the U.S. population usually set goals, one-fourth never succeed.

We think this year is going to be different, that we are going to accomplish our goals. Self-improvement is a good thing; the problem is we make resolutions that are vague or that we can’t control, which leads us to feeling disappointed when we don’t succeed. Allowing for a little imperfection in your resolutions is a good thing. Here are 6 steps to setting sustainable resolutions this year.

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When Daily Stress Gets in the Way of Life (New York Times)

Stephen Poff / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

"Anxiety is a fact of life. I’ve yet to meet anyone, no matter how upbeat, who has escaped anxious moments, days, even weeks." -- Jane Brody. I am so honored to have had the opportunity recently to speak with Jane Brody of the New York Times. She wrote an amazing article about how anxiety can take over our life. Please take a moment to read it and share with anyone it might help.

 

 

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How to Overcome Fear of Change at Work (Forbes)

leaving-a-job.jpg

Are you afraid of change? Aren't we all? 1 in 5 Americans will be looking for a new job in 2013. If you are one of them, or you know someone who is, check out this article by Jacquelyn Smith on Forbes.com. I had the pleasure of speaking with her about how we can summon the courage to rise to the occasion when it's time to change jobs. Remember that today's change is tomorrow's old news. It's just a matter of time.

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Surviving College Rejection Letters: What To Do When A School Says No

Mouse / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

 

Following up on my recent blog post on handling college admission stress, Here is a piece I wrote last year about college rejection letters. So many parents wrote in after I published it telling me how grateful they were to have some guidance on this topic, because they were really struggling too. It's a statistical fact of life: rejection letters will happen. But it's what happens after the rejection that matters most. Here are tips for parents and students to stay on track and not get derailed by misinterpreting the meaning when a college says no.

 


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Overcoming Job Interview Anxiety: How to Be Calm, Cool and Confident

jugbo / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

We've all had the interview anxiety dreams-- whether we are awake or asleep-- we are asked the trick question like-- "Tell me why you think you're right for this job?," and suddenly our throat is parched, our hearts are racing and as hard as we try to utter a sound, nothing will come out. Even though real life doesn't turn out that way, those bad dreams don't help our confidence going into an interview. But there are plenty of things we can do that will help. Here's a great article by Jacquelyn Smith at Forbes about overcoming job interview jitters,  for which I was honored to be interviewed. Click here to read the full article.

 

 

 

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Freeing Yourself from Anxiety podcast with Amy Alkon

Mari Z. / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

I had the opportunity to speak with the nationally syndicated advice columnist, and very smart, clever woman: Amy Alkon about overcoming worry and anxiety. Check out the podcast by clicking here

 

 

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How to Not Let Anxiety Fake or Freak You Out: Dr. Chansky's Talk at Drexel

libraryman / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

How many times have we "what if'd" ourselves out of taking risks, only to find after the fact that our worst fears weren't even in the ballpark of what actually happened? How many times have we sort of known that all along, but can't seem to turn off the anxiety alarm in our heads? In a recent talk I gave at Drexel University as part of their Mental Health Awareness Week, invited by the student-run group, Active Minds, I spoke about how to not let your amygdala (the emergency control center of the brain) ruin your day or your plans-- or your life!  Click here to read highlights of that talk from this excellent summary in the Drexel On-line Newspaper, The Triangle. 

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A Solution for Bored Children: The Common Good List

clogozm / Kids Photos / CC BY

Too much time, too little to do-- this is the often the problem of summertime with kids. Can weeding, washing dishes or taking out the trash help your child do better at school and better in life? Yes. Here is a piece I wrote about getting kids and families to work together for the common good. 

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How to Not Pass on Stress to Your Kids

Ojie Paloma / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

Recently I had the pleasure of talking with my dear friend, Dr. Dan Gottlieb on his NPR radio show, Voices in the Family. His guests, Drs. Sara Waters and Wendy Mendes from University of San Francisco were reporting on their study of the transmission of stress from mother to infant. It was a great conversation, and you can listen to the program here. The take away message was very positive-- that parents can do so much to manage their stress and importantly "repair" their connection with their child if stress gets in the way-- through apologies, loving gestures-- and just spending time together. In otherwords, we don't have to pass on our stress, we can clean it up as we go. Here's a piece I wrote to share these ideas. 

 

 

 

 

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How to Take Charge of Back-to-School Fears

back-to-schoolWhat's a parent's first instinct when a child is afraid? To reassure, to take away the fear, to tell your child that everything is going to be okay. If only that worked! In this post we see how asking your child the right questions about her fears can be even more powerful than giving reassurance, because it shifts kids out of worry mode and into thinking mode-- and that's exactly the mode they need to be in for school, and for life! Here's to a great school year for all!
 

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What to Do When Your College Student is Homesick

Ian Fuller / Foter 

This week as students are heading off to college, parents are wondering-- what do they do when their child is unhappy or homesick? Is it a sign of trouble, or just a normal sign of change? This is normal! Teaching your children (young adults) how transitions work is your new job. Here are many ideas to get you started.

 

 

 

 

 

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