Blog — Perfectionism

How to (Best) Handle Criticism

None of us like to be told what we've done wrong, and yet, this is often a great way to learn and grow. How do we handle criticism best? Here are some ideas from my conversation with Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner on her program, A Better You. 

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Overcoming Procrastination: 7 Strategies to Get the Job Done, Today

procrastinationIf only we could list procrastination as a skill on our resumé. We've all been practicing diligently for years, and now qualify as experts, thanks to the internet and all it's must-see nooks and crannies. But don't despair, there's hope for procrastinators.

Photo credit: Mait Jüriado / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA

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Overcoming Procrastination (Now)

procrastinationI love writing in my local coffee shop, it is somehow my anti-procrastination strategy. I get away from all the distractions I have at home like the laundry and dishes and sorting through my mail, and have some focused work time. The funny thing is, lots of people of busily working on their laptops at the coffee shop, but maybe no surprise, when I walk by I see a good array of delay tactics: people playing solitaire or looking at facebook. Why do we procrastinate when it makes us so miserable? And more importantly, what can we do to get back to work?

Watch this interview I did with Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner on "A Better You," and read this related blog post, Overcoming Procrastination: 7 Strategies to Get the Job Done ...Today.

 

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6 Steps to Setting Sustainable New Year's Resolutions

Kurume-Shimin / Foter / CC BY-SA

Chances are – the average New Year’s resolution list looks the same as last year’s: lose weight, stop smoking, save money and find your soul mate. While 45 percent of the U.S. population usually set goals, one-fourth never succeed.

We think this year is going to be different, that we are going to accomplish our goals. Self-improvement is a good thing; the problem is we make resolutions that are vague or that we can’t control, which leads us to feeling disappointed when we don’t succeed. Allowing for a little imperfection in your resolutions is a good thing. Here are 6 steps to setting sustainable resolutions this year.

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What is the Secret to Keeping Your Resolutions? Allow Imperfection.

Thomas Hawk / Foter / CC BY-NC

Research shows that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, so now is a good time to asses how those new year's resolutions are going. I set a goal to do crunches everyday, and two weeks into the new year I can say I've probably done them 50% of the time. Some might look at this as failure and give up, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm succeeding half the time! It shows I'm building commitment and at the same time fulfilling one of my other resolutions: to allow imperfection.

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Kids and Sports: 8 Strategies to Take Charge of Disappointment and Stay in the Game

arbeer.de / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA

Is your child an anxious athlete? Did you sign your child up for a sports team thinking what a good experience it would be, only to find... it's not. If you have a child whose stomach is in knots before a practice or a game, or who is miserable and so hard on him or herself when things don't go perfectly-- don't give up and don't let your child give up either! Check out this article I wrote about how to teach your child to become a resilient athlete.  It's not about lowering the standards, it's about lowering the stakes. 

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April is Stress Awareness Month: Six Steps to Have Less Stress

Chi King / Nature Photos / CC BY

Are you feeling stressed? Do things feel out of your control? Know that you are in good company, and more importantly, you are in a very good position to make a difference in your life and sense of well-being. It's not the stress, it's what you do with it, and there's a lot you can do! Check out this piece I wrote for Stress Awareness Month.  

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Freeing Yourself from Anxiety podcast with Amy Alkon

Mari Z. / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

I had the opportunity to speak with the nationally syndicated advice columnist, and very smart, clever woman: Amy Alkon about overcoming worry and anxiety. Check out the podcast by clicking here

 

 

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Teaching Children to Succeed in Sports by Managing Their Mindset

Atos International / Foter / CC BY-SA

As an anxiety therapist who works with kids with perfectionism, especially around sports, I always appreciate when the Olympics come around. By watching these unparalleled feats of human agility, grace, strength and beauty and also seeing that things don't always go as planned, children can learn that excellence isn't the same as perfection and that true mastery can often be measured (in gold!) by how quickly one bounces back from disappointment and mis-steps. You'll learn in this blog post strategies to teach kids how to increase their mental agility in sports-- just like the pros.

 

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8 Ways to Strive for Excellence Not Perfection and Live a Better Life!

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I was in my favorite coffee shop recently (I would walk very far for the best iced Americano in town) and the barista was dumping out a latte that just wasn't up to snuff for her. I joked that perfectionism is only important when it comes to making coffee. She laughed and said, no, perfectionism is important everywhere. We got into a whole discussion about whether perfectionism was really sustainable, how it is different from striving for excellence. In the end we agreed to disagree (I think it's just a matter of time, she's young) and I enjoyed my delicious drink. But it got me thinking about how destructive perfectionism can be to a person's well-being, not to mention productivity, so I am reposting this piece I wrote on the topic a bit ago. Here's to striving for excellence (not perfection)!

 

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Preventing Homework Procrastination

Cayusa / Foter / CC BY-NC

Homework? No thanks, I'll do it later... Procrastination, what has been referred to as a human instinct, starts young. Five year olds with a mere five minutes of homework would rather do anything than sit still and be trapped with what will feel to them like hours of torture! In this post I describe many strategies for teaching kids to sneak past the tough beginning of their work session, and get more quickly to the middle-- the part when they are in their groove and heading toward the finish line. Feel free to use these ideas to get your own work flowing, they have been adult-tested too!

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