News
Posted on May 21, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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libraryman / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
How many times have we "what if'd" ourselves out of taking risks, only to find after the fact that our worst fears weren't even in the ballpark of what actually happened? How many times have we sort of known that all along, but can't seem to turn off the anxiety alarm in our heads? In a recent talk I gave at Drexel University as part of their Mental Health Awareness Week, invited by the student-run group, Active Minds, I spoke about how to not let your amygdala (the emergency control center of the brain) ruin your day or your plans-- or your life! Click here to read highlights of that talk from this excellent summary in the Drexel On-line Newspaper, The Triangle.
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Posted on May 16, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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SalFalko / Money Photos / CC BY-NC
Retirement. Many of us fear that we'll never get there, others of us who are getting close to the magic 65, well, we're worried too! Is retirement so different from everything else in life that we have no idea how to manage it? Or, can the coping skills that have gotten us this far help us with this transition too? Short answer: we are more prepared than we think.
Click here to check out this guest blog post I wrote on Forbes.com about beating the retirement blues.
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Posted on April 29, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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Mari Z. / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
I had the opportunity to speak with the nationally syndicated advice columnist, and very smart, clever woman: Amy Alkon about overcoming worry and anxiety. Check out the podcast by clicking here!
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Posted on April 26, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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Chi King / Nature Photos / CC BY
Are you feeling stressed? Do things feel out of your control? Know that you are in good company, and more importantly, you are in a very good position to make a difference in your life and sense of well-being. It's not the stress, it's what you do with it, and there's a lot you can do! Check out this piece I wrote for Stress Awareness Month.
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Posted on April 14, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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arbeer.de / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
Is your child an anxious athlete? Did you sign your child up for a sports team thinking what a good experience it would be, only to find... it's not. If you have a child whose stomach is in knots before a practice or a game, or who is miserable and so hard on him or herself when things don't go perfectly-- don't give up and don't let your child give up either! Check out this article I wrote about how to teach your child to become a resilient athlete. It's not about lowering the standards, it's about lowering the stakes.
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Posted on March 27, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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jugbo / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
We've all had the interview anxiety dreams-- whether we are awake or asleep-- we are asked the trick question like-- "Tell me why you think you're right for this job?," and suddenly our throat is parched, our hearts are racing and as hard as we try to utter a sound, nothing will come out. Even though real life doesn't turn out that way, those bad dreams don't help our confidence going into an interview. But there are plenty of things we can do that will help. Here's a great article by Jacquelyn Smith at Forbes about overcoming job interview jitters, for which I was honored to be interviewed. Click here to read the full article.
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Posted on March 12, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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Mouse / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
Following up on my recent blog post on handling college admission stress, Here is a piece I wrote last year about college rejection letters. So many parents wrote in after I published it telling me how grateful they were to have some guidance on this topic, because they were really struggling too. It's a statistical fact of life: rejection letters will happen. But it's what happens after the rejection that matters most. Here are tips for parents and students to stay on track and not get derailed by misinterpreting the meaning when a college says no.
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Posted on March 6, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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K. Sawyer Photography / Foter.com / CC BY-NC
No one is immune from the stress of the college admissions process-- one that for some kids (and parents) feels like it really started somehow back in elementary school. Is your child's future dependent on what comes in the mail? Is there really life beyond the thin envelope? At the moment of impact, the answer is no. But after the brief flatline, when it feels like the horizon of your child's future has dropped out of sight for both you and your child, there is a resounding -- yes. In this article, parents and teachers can learn how to help kids to put this moment in perspective and see that no matter what happens come April 15th, they have their whole life ahead of them. Click here to read this article on Huffington Post.
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Posted on March 6, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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dickuhne / Foter.com / CC BY
Jobs can be stressful, and changing jobs can be even more so. A recent survey found that 1 in 5 adults will change jobs this year-- but none of us like change, even change that we may choose. I had the opportunity to speak recently with Lisa Davis on It's Your Health Network about what to do to maximize the benefits of change and minimize the pain. You can listen to the interview by clicking here and scrolling down to Dr. Tamar Chansky:
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Posted on February 14, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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SAli / Sally / SAli Boti.....which ever you prefer / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
Happy Valentine's Day. Yes, this is a day dedicated to love and connection, but if you're not exactly feeling it, don't worry! Maybe you and your partner got off on the wrong foot this morning and you're thinking-- "What's wrong with us, we're supposed to be happy, it's Valentine's Day!" It's time for a re-think. If we don't fear the glitches and bumps in the road in our relationships, we may find that they are the very pathways to a deeper connection. Here's how.
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Posted on January 19, 2013 in
Worry Wise
Are you afraid of change? Aren't we all? 1 in 5 Americans will be looking for a new job in 2013. If you are one of them, or you know someone who is, check out this article by Jacquelyn Smith on Forbes.com. I had the pleasure of speaking with her about how we can summon the courage to rise to the occasion when it's time to change jobs. Remember that today's change is tomorrow's old news. It's just a matter of time.
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Posted on January 18, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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clappstar / Kids Photos / CC BY-NC-ND
No one likes to lose, but for some kids losing isn't a superficial scratch on the ego, it goes deep. In fact the reason why some kids have trouble losing is that they can't hold on to who they were before the loss; instead, no matter how many successes they had under their belt, the loss transforms them irrevocably into a loser. It's as if each game is a gamble where they put all their chips on the table, and if they lose, they're cleaned out of all of their assets. If this is starting to sound like some of the adults you know, including yourself, read on, the solutions are pretty much one size fits all. These strategies will help your child maintain perspective when there are disappointments and encourage positive coping skills.
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Posted on January 9, 2013 in
Worry Wise
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Thomas Hawk / Foter / CC BY-NC
Research shows that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, so now is a good time to asses how those new year's resolutions are going. I set a goal to do crunches everyday, and two weeks into the new year I can say I've probably done them 50% of the time. Some might look at this as failure and give up, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm succeeding half the time! It shows I'm building commitment and at the same time fulfilling one of my other resolutions: to allow imperfection.
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Posted on December 31, 2012 in
Worry Wise
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Kurume-Shimin / Foter / CC BY-SA
Chances are – the average New Year’s resolution list looks the same as last year’s: lose weight, stop smoking, save money and find your soul mate. While 45 percent of the U.S. population usually set goals, one-fourth never succeed.
We think this year is going to be different, that we are going to accomplish our goals. Self-improvement is a good thing; the problem is we make resolutions that are vague or that we can’t control, which leads us to feeling disappointed when we don’t succeed. Allowing for a little imperfection in your resolutions is a good thing. Here are 6 steps to setting sustainable resolutions this year.
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Posted on December 19, 2012 in
Worry Wise
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Cia de Foto / Foter / CC BY-NC-SA
Ah, how magical to celebrate the holidays with family. Oh, wait... really? With... family? @&%#!, with family?! This year, do yourself a favor -- if you want to thrive (and not lose your mind) during the holidays, give yourself a gift: Expect what's most likely to happen. If you're wrong and things go great, all the better! But if you're right and history repeats itself, no harm, no foul, no nervous breakdown. Here are some ideas for freeing yourself from anxiety during family gatherings.
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Posted on December 17, 2012 in
Worry Wise
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gcoldironjr2003 / Foter / CC BY-ND
When talking with our children about tragedy, we can choose to emphasize grief and healing rather than fear and danger. Our purpose is to help our children recover and be resilient, not to be frightened of their lives. Here are several ideas to guide you in talking about the school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut; these suggestions can be useful in general when helping your child through traumatic events.
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Posted on December 11, 2012 in
Worry Wise
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Stephen Poff / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND
"Anxiety is a fact of life. I’ve yet to meet anyone, no matter how upbeat, who has escaped anxious moments, days, even weeks." -- Jane Brody. I am so honored to have had the opportunity recently to speak with Jane Brody of the New York Times. She wrote an amazing article about how anxiety can take over our life. Please take a moment to read it and share with anyone it might help.
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Posted on December 4, 2012 in
Worry Wise
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Renée S. / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND
When we’re stressed about the holiday rush, who is there to greet us? All those cookie trays and eggnog. And the worry about how much weight we are putting on may drive us back for another serving. How do you avoid holiday stress from literally weighing on us? Armed with a few powerful strategies, we can combat those fears and really enjoy ourselves.
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Posted on November 21, 2012 in
Worry Wise
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visualpanic / Foter / CC BY
The clock is ticking toward Thanksgiving and the holidays beyond, and two very different feelings are flashing on your emotional news feed: impending joy and impending doom.
OK, maybe doom is overstating it; dread may be closer to the mark. But let's face it, many of us are finding ourselves up at 3:00 in the morning checking our to-do lists and reviewing incessantly the parade of possible catastrophes: "Will my brined turkey be a disaster?" "Will everyone be happy with their gifts?" "How much weight (and debt) am I going to gain?" "What if my family doesn't get along?" "What if I'm not ready?" "What if I totally fail?!" Wait, are we preparing for the holidays -- or final exams?
It doesn't have to be this way.
It's time to change our relationship with the holidays.
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Posted on November 13, 2012 in
Worry Wise
Positive Thinking could be considered the high fructose corn syrup of the thinking world -- when forced. It's not necessary, natural, and research has found that it's not good for us when we have to sell ourselves on it.
All of us feel upset from time to time, and can, depending on the day or our temperament, slip or sprint into a place of self-loathing, world-loathing, hell. When we are in that place we don't need to be airlifted to Disney, we just want to re-route our perfect nose-dive towards utter misery. Just about any other destination will do. In that state of despair, the last logical thing to do--even it were humanly possible--is to do a back-breaking reach for the positive. If our children did that kind of maneuver in the middle of a tantrum we'd take their temperature or call an exorcist. Why? Because in that moment, we are essentially lying to ourselves. There's no rationale for it. Fake stuff doesn't work: nutritionally or emotionally.
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Posted on November 12, 2012 in
Worry Wise
A long-term study out of the University of Wisconsin-Madison found that children who grew up in high stress families are more likely to develop anxiety disorders in the teenage years-- this connection was only evident with girls, not with boys. This study highlights the need to support young parents and families. To read about this on Psych Central, click here.
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Posted on November 8, 2012 in
Worry Wise
People are always asking me why I became a therapist, and an anxiety therapist to boot. Perhaps this will explain:
I've had two close calls in life. One with a bear, one with a purple skirt.
First the skirt. The year was 1968. I was in first grade.
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Posted on October 23, 2012 in
Worry Wise
Dating is like job interviewing for love. No it's not at all like that, but that's how anxiety might tell the story. So much anticipation, so many unknowns, so many what if's. It's not just this date that feels like it's on the line, it feels like our very ability to be loved is what's at stake. In this Q and A I did with eHarmony.com, you'll find many ideas for preventing anxiety on a date by leaving the worry at home.
Read the full interview and share with anyone who might benefit from reading it, too!
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Posted on October 15, 2012 in
Worry Wise
We praise people like Bill Gates that are "workaholics", but many studies show the negative effects of what is a real condition, being addicted to work.
Watch this Huffington Post Live discussion on how to get out of the corner of workaholicism, and read a related blog post: How to Get Your Inner Workaholic to Take a Break. There's a better life waiting for you.
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Posted on October 10, 2012 in
Worry Wise
I love writing in my local coffee shop, it is somehow my anti-procrastination strategy. I get away from all the distractions I have at home like the laundry and dishes and sorting through my mail, and have some focused work time. The funny thing is, lots of people of busily working on their laptops at the coffee shop, but maybe no surprise, when I walk by I see a good array of delay tactics: people playing solitaire or looking at facebook. Why do we procrastinate when it makes us so miserable? And more importantly, what can we do to get back to work?
Watch this interview I did with Dr. Jennifer Baumgartner on "A Better You," and read this related blog post, Overcoming Procrastination: 7 Strategies to Get the Job Done ...Today.
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